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I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff 
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Post I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
"I AM THE GREATEST! BY HOFF!

This is the legend of Hoff who's not gay,
The most beautiful gamer in the world today.
He trolls a great deal, and brags indeed-y,
Of an accurate aim that's incredibly speed-y.

The battlefield world was dull and weary,
But without a Hoff, things had to be dreary.
Then someone with mischief, and C4 in his hand,
Brought server admins a runnin' with bans!
This brash young gamer is some-thing to see,
And trolling every game and forum is his des-tin-y.
This kid plays great; he's got skill and grit,
but if you play aginst him, prepare to ragequit!

This kid's got M16s, this kids got IR,
If he spots you once, I hope your medic ain't far!
And as you lie on the ground, while the nutsack hits your chin,
You'll pray that you won't have to play me again!

For I am the man this poem is about!
The greatest gamer in the world, there isn't a doubt.
This I predict, so hit TAB and check the score,
I'm more pro at BF than Zissky's mum was a whore.
When I say I'm gonna arm the MCOM, best hope you misheard,
Don't even try to disarm; I'm a man of my word.
If Hoff says an F35 can out-turn a su27, don't ask how! kill that flanker!

He is the greatest! Yes! I am the man this poem's about,
The gaming champ of the world, there isn't a doubt!
Here I predict, before baby Jesus our Lord,
I'll own Gretzky so hard, he'll pull out his power cord!

When I'm in the jet, bail out of your bird!
Trying to shoot me down is completely absurd!
When Hoff says a jeep can outrun a jav,
Don't ask how; take a jeep of faith!

I AM THE GREATEST!!!!"

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Last edited by Hoff on May 16th, 2012, 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.



May 16th, 2012, 12:22 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
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May 16th, 2012, 1:02 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
i think im gonna take this one to the battlelog forums... its time they were introduced to me

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May 16th, 2012, 1:22 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
I googled "god complex" to retrieve a great image to accompany my reply. The top result was a barrage Dr. Who images. I had to submit in defeat...long live the one and only time lord.

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May 16th, 2012, 2:02 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
The man has quite a talent for self indulgent BS, I'll give him that

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May 16th, 2012, 2:32 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
I have quite a talent for everything. Except sucking cocks; Zissky thoroughly beats me in that game

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May 16th, 2012, 9:27 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Well at least you admit it.

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May 16th, 2012, 10:37 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
it's taken YEARS of practice

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May 16th, 2012, 11:13 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
I think he outdoes you in rubber fisting too

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May 16th, 2012, 11:24 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Attachment:
5-16-2012 8-49-48 AM.png
5-16-2012 8-49-48 AM.png [ 35.01 KiB | Viewed 1375 times ]


Hoff would be a great dictator.

*from WiKi*
Megalomaniac (Meglomania):
Quote:
Megalomania is a psycho-pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance, or omnipotence. 'Megalomania is characterized by an inflated sense of self-esteem and overestimation by persons of their powers and beliefs'.[1] Historically it was used as an old name for narcissistic personality disorder prior to the latter's first use by Heinz Kohut in 1968, and is used these days as a non-clinical equivalent.


Attachment:
meglo.jpg
meglo.jpg [ 68.56 KiB | Viewed 1375 times ]


Albeit a great read sir!  Funny at times.  Sad in others.  I give it two snaps and one hair toss.

Attachment:
5-16-2012 8-39-32 AM.png
5-16-2012 8-39-32 AM.png [ 116.06 KiB | Viewed 1375 times ]


SEVEN!

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May 16th, 2012, 11:57 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
1. the c4 was in reference to the c4 jet episode back int he bf2 days
2. yes, i would be a sweet dictator
3. I have a horrible win/loss ratio, because I always switch over to the losing team to balance it (who wants to play on the winning team, where everybody hogs your kills?), or I inadvertently switch to it when I play with my friends, because usually I like to kill them. Generally whichever team they/we are on wins, because that's 4-5 guys working together on the same team... usually enough to tip the balance

kdr is all that matters

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May 17th, 2012, 12:46 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Hoff wrote:
...
This kid plays great; he's got skill and grit,...


*cough* when I killed you with my 'two shot tank kill' *cough*

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May 17th, 2012, 12:24 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Graphic-J wrote:
Hoff wrote:
...
This kid plays great; he's got skill and grit,...


*cough* when I killed you with my 'two shot tank kill' *cough*


which i've given you many chances to explain, but you continually choose not to do so. so explain to me now how you killed my full health tank in 2 hits (without guided) when i got the jump on you and had already hit you with 2 hits, or ur haxin

im watchin u punk

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May 18th, 2012, 1:15 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
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May 18th, 2012, 4:57 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Hoff wrote:
"I AM THE GREATEST! BY HOFF!

This is the legend of Hoff who's not gay,
The most beautiful gamer in the world today.
He trolls a great deal, and brags indeed-y,
Of an accurate aim that's incredibly speed-y.

The battlefield world was dull and weary,
But without a Hoff, things had to be dreary.
Then someone with mischief, and C4 in his hand,
Brought server admins a runnin' with bans!
This brash young gamer is some-thing to see,
And trolling every game and forum is his des-tin-y.
This kid plays great; he's got skill and grit,
but if you play aginst him, prepare to ragequit!

This kid's got M16s, this kids got IR,
If he spots you once, I hope your medic ain't far!
And as you lie on the ground, while the nutsack hits your chin,
You'll pray that you won't have to play me again!

For I am the man this poem is about!
The greatest gamer in the world, there isn't a doubt.
This I predict, so hit TAB and check the score,
I'm more pro at BF than Zissky's mum was a whore.
When I say I'm gonna arm the MCOM, best hope you misheard,
Don't even try to disarm; I'm a man of my word.
If Hoff says an F35 can out-turn a su27, don't ask how! kill that flanker!

He is the greatest! Yes! I am the man this poem's about,
The gaming champ of the world, there isn't a doubt!
Here I predict, before baby Jesus our Lord,
I'll own Gretzky so hard, he'll pull out his power cord!

When I'm in the jet, bail out of your bird!
Trying to shoot me down is completely absurd!
When Hoff says a jeep can outrun a jav,
Don't ask how; take a jeep of faith!

I AM THE GREATEST!!!!"

Im trying to read it like"twas a night before christmas"but it isnt working maybe itll sync it up with Pink Floyds the wall then maybe itll make sens.


May 25th, 2012, 2:38 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Hoff wrote:
Graphic-J wrote:
Hoff wrote:
...
This kid plays great; he's got skill and grit,...


*cough* when I killed you with my 'two shot tank kill' *cough*


which i've given you many chances to explain, but you continually choose not to do so. so explain to me now how you killed my full health tank in 2 hits (without guided) when i got the jump on you and had already hit you with 2 hits, or ur haxin

im watchin u punk


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May 25th, 2012, 1:23 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Now Hoff do be mad they gave certain things the ability to one hit kill a tank.  You cram a rocket from a LAV up that fat ass and it will blow instantly.

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May 25th, 2012, 4:16 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
I wasn't in jet. He's talking about the time when were both dueling in Tanks. He shot and hit me three times until he killed me but
I also killed. But with only two tank shells. Till this day I don't know how that happened.

I'm suspecting that someone behind him hit him with a rocket or something at the same time I shot him with my second shell? I dunno.
Must be late BF2' karma  for C4ing those poor bastards in jet base.  ;)

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May 25th, 2012, 4:52 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
I am just waiting to see Hoff poast how his comments have been edited in the original poast.

Please good sir, entertain me.

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May 25th, 2012, 6:49 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist...

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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
"I AM THE GREATEST! BY HOFF!

This is the legend of Hoff who's gay,
The most fisted gamer in the world today.
He trolls a great deal, and lags indeed-y,
Of an accurate aim that's incredibly seed-y.

The battlefield world was full and weary,
But with a Hoff, things had to be dreary.
Then someone with mischief, and C4 on his lists
Brought server admins a runnin' with rubberfists
This brash young gamer is some-thing to see,
And trolling every game and forum is his du-ty
This kid plays great; but hes ok
if you play aginst him, prepare to be gay

This kid's got herpes and ghonorea
If he spots you once, I hope he dont cya
And as you lie on the ground, while the nutsack hits your chin,
You'll pray that you won't have AIDS again!

For I am the man this poem is about!
The most rubberfisted in the world, there isn't a doubt.
This I predict, so  slap my ass
I'm more pro at BF than Java with a USAS
When I say I'm gonna arm the MCOM you know im jistin
I'll be in a corner gettin a rubber fistin
If Hoff says an F35 can out-turn a su27, don't ask how! I'm just a wanker

He is the greatest! Yes! I am the man this poem's about,
The gaming champ of the world, there isn't a doubt!
Here I predict, before baby Jesus our Lord,
I'll rubber fist Gretzky so hard, he'll pull out his power cord!

When I'm in the jet,flip me the  bird!
Im easy to shoot down,ya heard?
When Hoff says a jeep can outrun the lag
Don't ask how; just call him a FAG!

I AM THE GREATEST!!!!"


May 26th, 2012, 3:48 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Bravo!

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May 26th, 2012, 10:21 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
"He floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee" ... sorry, taken from Family Guy <---- but it's still funny  :lol:


May 26th, 2012, 6:53 pm
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
RIP :'(

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June 6th, 2016, 7:02 am
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Post Re: I am the greatest... a recitation by Hoff
Holy thread revive Batman!

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